Dorothee International At the end of May 1983 my boyfriend did move back to Linköping as soon as the school year was over. He told me, he will welcome me, when he had got an apartment. That happened soon. It was an apartment with only one room, which was the bedroom as well as the living room for us. He was going back to his employment, he has had before he started at the Pentacost school. He was a janitor. In his job, he also recycled items, people was no longer interested in. Once he came home with a very big Teddybear for Gunnar. The Teddy was taller than my son.
When the contract of my apartment in Lycksele ran out, we already had got a nice 2-bedroom apartment. It was on a first floor, which I liked very much. We married 2nd July 1983. We had not a very big celebration, but were married in a little church in Linköping and I had a long white dress with a chapel length train and a long veil. I had bought it second hand at a shop of the Salvation Army. The long sleeves were very tight, but I could widen them. At the day of our wedding, my financé did go to the flower shop to pick up the flower bouquets. There should be one for me – the biggest one, and two smaller ones for our bridemaids. He did only took my one, but could not go back to fetch the others, because the shop was closed. Luckily we found an open flower shop, which we could buy new bouquets of, but they were not really similar and not matching so well as the originally did. By the way, in front of the church, when we were waiting, that all our guest became seated, my financé was stepping and standing on my veil, which I have got a problem with, when it was time for us to enter the church.After the church we celebrated our wedding in the rooms of the LP-Stiftelsen i Linköping. This Philanthropic association was working with people with alcohol problems. Bo, my husband, was helping there and we were lucky that we could use the rooms for free. My mother in law, had baked a lot of cakes and we only had them, no food. Though the meaning was, that the celebration should not have been for hours, but the relatives did stay. Though we ate a lot of cakes this afternoon and evening. Our guests were only my husband’s relatives and the friend of my husband. The friends we knew from the Pentecost school declined to come as well did my relatives, but by different reasons. My mother was very ill in cancer at that time, my father did already die a couple of years before – which I named, and my brothers thought, it was too far to go.
At the end of the time of the contract for the apartment in Lycksele my husband and his friend were driving to Lycksele and picking up my belongings. I was not able to take them with me, because I had rented out the apartment to get some money for the rent. I told Bo, that there are dishes in a plastic tub, which I have not had the possibilty to wrap and that this should be done, though they would not brake. When he came home with all my items, the dishes in the plastic tub were not wrapped. Luckily, they did not brake anyway. Amoung my belongings were also a lot of fine crystal glasses – for wine, cognac, you name it. Bo told me, that I could not have them, because it is the devils way to drink wine and other alcoholic drinks. Unfortunately I did put them into the recycling shed. I think the janitor for our area has been happy about them.
I could not get any job by my pregnancy, of course. Though I was taking care about Gunnar and our home full-time. I tried to make the most of our money by cooking all from scretch, buying cheap food etc. During autumn, Bo came often home with windfall of apple and pears. Though I had a lot of work to freeze them – mostly as apple souce or similar. The pears I froze in halves in a sugar sauce.
We visited my parents in law off and on, because they were living very close to us. My mother in law was very kind to me as well as to Gunnar. My father in law did not like the way Gunnar was behaving. Therefore I did not visit my parents in law so often anymore. They also were moving to another area of Linköping, which made it more complicated for us to go there.
17th January 1984 our son Daniel was born – the natural way. He was coming quite fast, which shall we usual for the second child, but Gunnar was born by Cesarian session, though it was not to expect this. Bo was with me at the hospital and a neighbor was staying at our home with Gunnar. We had been in contact before. She was nearly a friend of us and we had no other one, who could arrive so fast as we had to go to the hospital. At that time, one was staying at the hospital for 10 days after a child birth. So did I. During the examination of Daniel, I told the doctor, that I was born with hip dislocation, because it is hereditary. It does not happen often, that boys get it, but that is possible. Next day Daniel’s hips were x-rayed.
Daniel was easy to care about. He was sleeping very much. Unfortunately I had to wake him up, that he should eat. Once he also did through up his food and I did not see it right away. His eye lids got svullen and I was going to the doctor with him, how told me, that he may be allergical against cow milk – which I drank. From that day I did neither drink cow milk nor eat cheese from cowmilk etc. until I ended breast-feed him. By the way I bought the clothers for my children second hand or sometimes during sale. I did not have the small clothes after Gunnar left, because of moving around and that I had not expected to get another child and marry again.
My mother died in May that year. We were still short on money, but Bo told me, we have to go to her funeral. At that time we had an old, yellow VW-bus. We were going to Germany by ferry. When we were taking something to eat, the water bottle was sliding out of my hand and crashed into the floor. People were looking at me, like I was drunk, but actually I only was tired. I had asked Bo before, that I do not need to go with him to the restaurant onboard, but he asked me to follow him anyway. During the funeral in the chapel, I had Daniel in the pram beside of me, but an auntie did tell me, that babies are not welcome during a funeral. He should be outside. Fortunately one of my cousins was outside with her own daughter and did take care of him – he was sleeping all the time.
We stayed over at my grandmother’s (the mother of my mother) apartment. There was not much space, but she made it work. We were going back home soon again.
When summer was coming, I did start working as a private daymother. I did not get a lot of money, but it helped a little. I also started to sew clothes out of old clothes, we had got of others and in addition to that I also started to knit again. In October I became an official daymother, employed by the community of Linköping. Now, we have got it a little better regarding to the income, but the VW-bus Bo had bought the year before did cost a lot as well as the tours he made with them for the LP-Stiftelsen. He did not get paid for them. I used public transport and also had bought a used bicycle. Unfortunately the brakes were not working well at the bicycle, though I sold it later again.
I have got 40.000 SEK as a legacy after my mother and some things like fabrics. My brothers had decided, which items were easiest to send to me in Sweden. I could not really choose. For the money, I bought a dishwasher, a washing machine and a dryer. Though I did not need to go to the laundry house at the yard anymore, because it was very hard to find a session there, when needed. One had to book the new session, when the one in use was ended. We had a lot of laundry now and when the children were throughing up – for one or another reason, there was no session to get. The rest of the money I saved for a while.
During the summer we also were visiting Stockholm for three days. It was our only vacation. Bo had insisted to have the stroller with us instead for the pram, but I was unhappy for it. Daniel could not really sit in it. It was a very low budget vacation. We could not even visit the castle of Stockholm.
In autumn 1984 I have had a natural abortion. I did not know I was pregnant again. I have not had my menstruation after Daniel was born, but I just had decided this morning to go to a doctor to check, if I was pregnant, because I had such a big stomage. I have been with my children in a recreation area. Gunnar had his new bicycle and I was pushing Daniel in the pram. When we were going upwards a hill I did get my menstruation, I thought, but later that evening I have got that miscarriage. I felt like I gave birth to a little child, when I was in the bathroom for peeing. I could not see the embryo, because it was falling down and “simming” away in the water. Bo was not at home, he was away for two days. When I called him, he told me, that he cannot return, but he told me, I could ask the local leader’s wife (of the LP-Stiftelsen) to come and stay with the children. I was going to the hospital for the necessary surgery. I was mourning that little child for a long time.
I do not really remember, if we already started this year to visit Bo’s children. They were living with different families. We did not meet them often, because the lack of funds. One Christmas in Linköping two families which a son each of Bo dit visit us as well.
1985 was coming after a nice Christmas, which we had spend together with a friend of Bo. I actually have not had the possibilty to made real friends, but Gunnar had got a two year younger friend in our house. I had some talks with the friends parents, but mostly only with his mother. She was working parttime – two days off a week and three days off the next week. Though Gunnar could play with him, when the mother was not working. The little guy had a lot of phantasy, which was good for Gunnar.
… coming soon!
Dorothee International 